Our Boys vs TV's Paranormal Elite...
Mar. 27th, 2009 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
platysseusA Television Without Pity production.
SPOILERS for Supernatural (up to 4x16).
SPOILERS for the other shows (beware!).
The Winchesters vs. The Scooby Gang
The Competition: Super-strong, super-fast slayer Buffy Summers has a team of specialists watching her back, including kick-ass librarian Giles, witchy computer expert Willow, kinda-sorta ex-military man Xander and, occasionally, former vengeance demon Anya.
The Comparison: While the Scoobies have the numbers, Sam's Web research skills rival Giles' fancy magic-book learning, and Dean gets done with some salt and a shotgun what Willow needs six herbs and a chant circle to accomplish. Sam and Dean have each died once, but Buffy died twice and came back, so they're even on that count. However, the Scooby gang likes to sit around and discuss things first, making snarky comments about the situation, while the Winchesters tend to dive right into things. It occasionally gets them in trouble, but it also gets them results.
Scoobies or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. Angel Investigations
The Competition: Vampire-with-a-soul Angel started out a solo act, but he eventually hired on visions-having Cordelia, rogue demon hunter Wesley, streetwise vampire killer Gunn and researcher supreme Winifred "Fred" Burkle.
The Comparison: Angel, Wesley and Gunn are all vampire and demon-killing machines, and Wesley, Fred and Cordy have more knowledge of myths, folklore and what's going down in L.A. than Sam could find on a million Googles. So while Dean and Sam are about as effective as Angel -- maybe even more so, in broad daylight -- Angel's network of agents and informants make him every demon's worst nightmare. Sure, Sam and Dean work with the crotchety Bobby and the occasional psychic friend, but we weren't even counting Angel's time working with vampire Spike, demon goddess Illyria and the vast resources of Wolfram & Hart, which he took over in his last season.
Angel Investigations or Winchesters? Angel Investigations.
The Winchesters vs. Clark Kent
The Competition: An alien from another world given strength (if not intelligence) by our yellow sun, Clark "Kal-El" Kent is super-strong and super-fast, has heat vision, X-ray vision and can fly, kinda. His sidekick Chloe used to be able to tap into computers and process information at lightning speed, but now she's just a really good researcher.
The Comparison: You'd think that his ability to investigate things at super-speed would allow him to solve bizarre mysteries faster, but Kent seems to take the same amount of time to wrap a case up as Sam and Dean do, and they usually have a lot of different leads to follow up on, while Clark usually has just the one. If Chloe didn't show up every 15 minutes with a printout, he'd never solve the thing. And his super-strength doesn't give Clark a leg up, either; since most of the cases involve kryptonite, he usually gets incapacitated at some point during the show.
Clark & Chloe or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. The Losties
The Competition: Jack, the doctor. Sawyer, the con man. Kate, the fugitive. Locke, the survivalist. Hurley, the lottery winner. Jin, the fisherman. Sun, the trophy wife. Sayid, the torturer. None of whom had experience with the supernatural before they reached the island. But once they got there... ho, boy.
The Comparison: The Winchesters come to a town, solve the mystery, vanquish the ghost or demon or what have you, and move on. Bada bing, bada bang, bada boom. Couple of days, tops. The Losties were on that island for 101 days, and then some of them stuck around for another three years, and they still have no idea what the smoke monster is, or how the magic wheel in the well works, who the hell Jacob is, or why Jack's dead dad keeps showing up. Hopefully, now that they've got a guy who can talk to the dead (Miles), a guy who knows what makes time travel possible (Faraday) and their own back-from-the-dead guy (Locke), they'll make a little more progress.
Losties or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. The Charmed Ones
The Competition: Piper, Prue and Phoebe Halliwell (and, later, their half-sister Paige Matthews) are the most powerful witches to ever have lived. They possess the Power of Three, bestowed upon them by their ancestor, a witch killed during the Salem Witch Trials.
The Comparison: As sad as Dean would be to hear it, the Charmed Ones are way out of the Winchesters' league. Not only do they each have super-powers that they are usually in complete control of (Prue = telekinesis, Piper = freezing and exploding, Phoebe = premonition and projection, Paige = teleportation), they also seem to be able to balance their job protecting Earth from dark forces with their personal lives, pursuing careers and relationships with little trouble -- something the brothers have never wanted or been able to do. However, both Sam and Phoebe have slept with demons, so that makes them both equally bad (or is that good?) at their jobs.
Charmed Ones or Winchesters? The Charmed Ones.
The Winchesters vs. Mulder & Scully
The Competition: Special Agent Fox "Spooky" Mulder, legendary conspiracy theorist and extraterrestrial believer. His partner, Special Agent Dana Scully, who is skeptical of his theories, but has strong, if sentimental, religious convictions.
The Comparison: Sam and Dean may only play FBI agents on TV -- er, at crime scenes they need to investigate, but we will say this: If they were FBI agents, they would close cases. Most of the "X-file" cases that Mulder and Scully investigate are still not closed at the end of the episode, and will probably never be closed, because Scully is constantly holding Mulder back due to her disbelief, rather than helping him chase down a werewolf or sneak onto government property, two things Sam would help Dean do in a heartbeat.
Mulder & Scully or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. The Ghost Whisperer
The Competition: Melinda Gordon can see and talk to ghosts who have yet to cross over to the other side. Her sidekick, Eli James, can hear the dead, but not see them. What a wacky pair!
The Comparison: Since Sam and Dean seem to be able to see ghosts even without any powers, they're a match for Melinda and Eli in that department, which leaves how they deal with said ghosts. Sadly, the Ghost Whisperers' ghostbusting techniques seem to amount to a lot of talking and convincing and appeals to their emotion, while the Winchesters have no problem shooting ghosts, or dragging them behind a car with a chain.
Whisperers or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. Medium
The Competition: Allison DuBois is a psychic who works for the Phoenix, Arizona District Attorney's office, and can see events that have happened in the past or will happen in the future. She can also talk to ghosts, if they seek her out.
The Comparison: While they aren't often complete, and can sometimes be a little misleading, Allison's visions of crimes give her an advantage over Sam and Dean, who have to rely on old press clippings to piece the story together. However, they're all earthly crimes, and the ghosts that seek DuBois out are never really dangerous, so it remains to be seen how she would deal with a truly malevolent force. Also, DuBois is bound by the laws of the state of Arizona, whereas the Winchesters recognize no laws.
Medium or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. the Reaper
The Competition: Sam Oliver is the son of Satan, and he is regularly given enchanted objects to capture escaped souls and return them to hell. He also has some powers, including telekinesis, and is assisted by his two friends, Sock and Ben.
The Comparison: The Reaper has to take a hit in the motivation department, since he's normally a slacker, and was forced to take this job by the Devil, but you can't question his effectiveness. It helps that he always has a tool that's tailor-made for the job of capturing the soul in question, whereas Sam Winchester has to apparently drink blood in order to send demons back to Hell manually.
Reaper or Winchesters? Reaper.
6/9... not bad.
SPOILERS for Supernatural (up to 4x16).
SPOILERS for the other shows (beware!).
The Winchesters vs. The Scooby Gang
The Competition: Super-strong, super-fast slayer Buffy Summers has a team of specialists watching her back, including kick-ass librarian Giles, witchy computer expert Willow, kinda-sorta ex-military man Xander and, occasionally, former vengeance demon Anya.
The Comparison: While the Scoobies have the numbers, Sam's Web research skills rival Giles' fancy magic-book learning, and Dean gets done with some salt and a shotgun what Willow needs six herbs and a chant circle to accomplish. Sam and Dean have each died once, but Buffy died twice and came back, so they're even on that count. However, the Scooby gang likes to sit around and discuss things first, making snarky comments about the situation, while the Winchesters tend to dive right into things. It occasionally gets them in trouble, but it also gets them results.
Scoobies or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. Angel Investigations
The Competition: Vampire-with-a-soul Angel started out a solo act, but he eventually hired on visions-having Cordelia, rogue demon hunter Wesley, streetwise vampire killer Gunn and researcher supreme Winifred "Fred" Burkle.
The Comparison: Angel, Wesley and Gunn are all vampire and demon-killing machines, and Wesley, Fred and Cordy have more knowledge of myths, folklore and what's going down in L.A. than Sam could find on a million Googles. So while Dean and Sam are about as effective as Angel -- maybe even more so, in broad daylight -- Angel's network of agents and informants make him every demon's worst nightmare. Sure, Sam and Dean work with the crotchety Bobby and the occasional psychic friend, but we weren't even counting Angel's time working with vampire Spike, demon goddess Illyria and the vast resources of Wolfram & Hart, which he took over in his last season.
Angel Investigations or Winchesters? Angel Investigations.
The Winchesters vs. Clark Kent
The Competition: An alien from another world given strength (if not intelligence) by our yellow sun, Clark "Kal-El" Kent is super-strong and super-fast, has heat vision, X-ray vision and can fly, kinda. His sidekick Chloe used to be able to tap into computers and process information at lightning speed, but now she's just a really good researcher.
The Comparison: You'd think that his ability to investigate things at super-speed would allow him to solve bizarre mysteries faster, but Kent seems to take the same amount of time to wrap a case up as Sam and Dean do, and they usually have a lot of different leads to follow up on, while Clark usually has just the one. If Chloe didn't show up every 15 minutes with a printout, he'd never solve the thing. And his super-strength doesn't give Clark a leg up, either; since most of the cases involve kryptonite, he usually gets incapacitated at some point during the show.
Clark & Chloe or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. The Losties
The Competition: Jack, the doctor. Sawyer, the con man. Kate, the fugitive. Locke, the survivalist. Hurley, the lottery winner. Jin, the fisherman. Sun, the trophy wife. Sayid, the torturer. None of whom had experience with the supernatural before they reached the island. But once they got there... ho, boy.
The Comparison: The Winchesters come to a town, solve the mystery, vanquish the ghost or demon or what have you, and move on. Bada bing, bada bang, bada boom. Couple of days, tops. The Losties were on that island for 101 days, and then some of them stuck around for another three years, and they still have no idea what the smoke monster is, or how the magic wheel in the well works, who the hell Jacob is, or why Jack's dead dad keeps showing up. Hopefully, now that they've got a guy who can talk to the dead (Miles), a guy who knows what makes time travel possible (Faraday) and their own back-from-the-dead guy (Locke), they'll make a little more progress.
Losties or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. The Charmed Ones
The Competition: Piper, Prue and Phoebe Halliwell (and, later, their half-sister Paige Matthews) are the most powerful witches to ever have lived. They possess the Power of Three, bestowed upon them by their ancestor, a witch killed during the Salem Witch Trials.
The Comparison: As sad as Dean would be to hear it, the Charmed Ones are way out of the Winchesters' league. Not only do they each have super-powers that they are usually in complete control of (Prue = telekinesis, Piper = freezing and exploding, Phoebe = premonition and projection, Paige = teleportation), they also seem to be able to balance their job protecting Earth from dark forces with their personal lives, pursuing careers and relationships with little trouble -- something the brothers have never wanted or been able to do. However, both Sam and Phoebe have slept with demons, so that makes them both equally bad (or is that good?) at their jobs.
Charmed Ones or Winchesters? The Charmed Ones.
The Winchesters vs. Mulder & Scully
The Competition: Special Agent Fox "Spooky" Mulder, legendary conspiracy theorist and extraterrestrial believer. His partner, Special Agent Dana Scully, who is skeptical of his theories, but has strong, if sentimental, religious convictions.
The Comparison: Sam and Dean may only play FBI agents on TV -- er, at crime scenes they need to investigate, but we will say this: If they were FBI agents, they would close cases. Most of the "X-file" cases that Mulder and Scully investigate are still not closed at the end of the episode, and will probably never be closed, because Scully is constantly holding Mulder back due to her disbelief, rather than helping him chase down a werewolf or sneak onto government property, two things Sam would help Dean do in a heartbeat.
Mulder & Scully or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. The Ghost Whisperer
The Competition: Melinda Gordon can see and talk to ghosts who have yet to cross over to the other side. Her sidekick, Eli James, can hear the dead, but not see them. What a wacky pair!
The Comparison: Since Sam and Dean seem to be able to see ghosts even without any powers, they're a match for Melinda and Eli in that department, which leaves how they deal with said ghosts. Sadly, the Ghost Whisperers' ghostbusting techniques seem to amount to a lot of talking and convincing and appeals to their emotion, while the Winchesters have no problem shooting ghosts, or dragging them behind a car with a chain.
Whisperers or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. Medium
The Competition: Allison DuBois is a psychic who works for the Phoenix, Arizona District Attorney's office, and can see events that have happened in the past or will happen in the future. She can also talk to ghosts, if they seek her out.
The Comparison: While they aren't often complete, and can sometimes be a little misleading, Allison's visions of crimes give her an advantage over Sam and Dean, who have to rely on old press clippings to piece the story together. However, they're all earthly crimes, and the ghosts that seek DuBois out are never really dangerous, so it remains to be seen how she would deal with a truly malevolent force. Also, DuBois is bound by the laws of the state of Arizona, whereas the Winchesters recognize no laws.
Medium or Winchesters? Winchesters.
The Winchesters vs. the Reaper
The Competition: Sam Oliver is the son of Satan, and he is regularly given enchanted objects to capture escaped souls and return them to hell. He also has some powers, including telekinesis, and is assisted by his two friends, Sock and Ben.
The Comparison: The Reaper has to take a hit in the motivation department, since he's normally a slacker, and was forced to take this job by the Devil, but you can't question his effectiveness. It helps that he always has a tool that's tailor-made for the job of capturing the soul in question, whereas Sam Winchester has to apparently drink blood in order to send demons back to Hell manually.
Reaper or Winchesters? Reaper.
6/9... not bad.
